The Champ is HERE!

Congratulations to The Jeff Fisher Effect for going against its namesake's legacy, and winning his first Smarter Than Phil Simms Fantasy Football Championship.

Todd Gurley. That's pretty much all you have to say. He scored 46 points this week (and 90.5 in the playoffs) to lead the Effect to the title. And there wasn't much doubt (despite what the GroupMe chat might have lead you to believe). The triumvirate of Gurley, Melvin Gordon and Kareem Hunt was monstrous in these two playoff weeks. The Effect becomes the first team to break 300 points in the playoffs.

Grim Reaper didn't stand much of a chance this week; his players simply didn't show up. After a huge week in the first round of the playoffs, he couldn't break 100 points in the finals. That's fantasy football; some weeks your players go crazy, and some weeks your players do nothing.

And also, for the first time in league history, our bottom seed going into the Loser Bowl won BOTH of his games in the Loser Bowl, moving Boobies (heh) up to what is technically a 7th place finish. He scored the most points of any team in the Loser Bowl (206) and more points than the #1 seed going into the playoffs (Hooper's Heroes scored 177 in his two contests). Perhaps he didn't deserve the title of The Worst after all...

Final standings (final record in parentheses)

1. The Jeff Fisher Effect (10-6)
2. Grim Reaper (8-8)
3. Pedro Pickles (10-6)
4. Hooper's Heroes (9-7)
5. Scrote Squad (9-7)
6. Team Provost (7-9)
7. Released Dix On Boobies (7-9)
8. Jameis Winston Zeddemore (7-9)
9. Outta Luck (8-8)
10. Iron Ryan (5-11)

The final standings don't mean much, but it's interesting to see. Despite our #9 team having a better record than the 3 teams ahead of him, he scored fewer points than 2 of them (though he beat Boobies (heh) head to head on the season). Iron Ryan finished 5-11 so... yep. Finishing 10th makes sense.

There will be more highlights, lowlights and analysis at our upcoming End of Season: The Gathering. Recall this event will take place at the Rumbleseat in Chicopee on January 6 (you probably received a Google Calendar invite from your Commish). I hope all owners on the East Coast can attend for some fun and frivolity. And a couple fun surprises.

I also have to say thanks for making the season fun. I've recently started reading the r/ffcommish subreddit, and man, some of those guys have some shitty leaguemates: guys who don't pay, guys who abuse the rules. I'm happy we have a league where that doesn't really happen, and where we all respect each other (most of the time). I'm grateful that you guys don't make this league any more stressful than it has to be (which isn't much because c'mon...it's fantasy football!)

See you guys in a week, and Merry Christmas!

-The Commish

Playoffs, Round 1, or The Tale of Two Blowouts

For the third straight year, the top seed won’t be around for the finals, as Grim Reaper got just about all he could get from his team, and toppled the mighty Hooper’s Heroes. Because of the dominance of Reaper’s squad, Antonio Brown’s calf injury made only a small difference in this matchup. Despite his 138 points, Reaper only had one guy who topped 20 points. But aside from Carlos Hyde and his kicker, everyone was in double digits, making for a very tough team to beat.

In fact, the only team that even had a shot to beat that this week was The Jeff Fisher Effect. Holy cow. Melvin Gordon and Kareem Hunt combined for 61.5 points on Saturday night, and then Todd Gurley was all like “Hold my beer,” and dropped 4 TDs on the Seahawks defense, and Pedro Pickles never had a shot. The Effect’s 173 were the second highest total in the league this year.

So we’ve got two teams who just put up their highest season point totals in round 1 of the playoffs set to meet for the title. So what’s going to happen? Obviously, we’re going to have a finals matchup where neither team breaks 100 points.

So, Kyle: just kickers or….

In our consolation bracket, Team Provost made his case that he should have been a playoff team, scoring more points that two of the playoff teams, while the rest of the consolation teams had lackluster weeks. Only one other broke 100, and one got almost one-third of his point total from his kicker (thank you, Robbie Gould and Outta Luck).

So it’s Scrote Squad and Team Provost for the Loser Bowl title. Rumor is that Ezekiel Elliott bet Eric Dickerson that he was going to run for 200 yards in his first game back. So if that happens, I don’t know how Provost loses (provided he plays Zeke, I guess).

Week 14, or the Regular Season Goes The Way of Rudolph...Down In History

The regular season has come to an end and we’ve got two firsts. Congratulations to Grim Reaper, who will make his first ever playoff appearance, and congrats (?) to Released Dix On Boobies, who becomes the first franchise in league history with multiple The Worst titles.

Grim Reaper’s week got off to a rough start when Alvin Kamara left the Thursday night game during the Saints first possession. But he got enormous weeks from Michael Thomas and DeAndre Hopkins, which clinched the win and his playoff berth

Reaper had to win to make the playoffs, but if Scrote Squad was able to win, he’d have owned the spot. Instead, he put up the third 48 point week in the league this year (Boobies (heh) and Iron Ryan), in a week where he absolutely needed a victory. In the final two weeks, when wins were almost required for Scrote, he put up 75.5 and 48 points. Those are incredible numbers for a team that had a shot at a playoff spot.

Four teams finished the season 7-7, but Reaper had the most points, giving him the playoff nod. His advantage ended as exactly 100 points over Scrote. Luckless and Zeddemore did everything they could, putting up the second and third highest point totals of the week. But they had too big a hole to climb out of.

There was also a shakeup at the top. Pedro Pickles couldn’t beat Team Provost (who probably deserved to finish better than 6-8, as he actually finished with more points than Reaper) which dropped him to the #2 seed, after Hooper’s Heroes put up another money-winning week in his victory over The Jeff Fisher Effect.

But honestly, I’m burying the lede here (and yes, that is the proper spelling). We have our first two-time The Worst. Our two serious contenders, Iron Ryan and Boobies (heh), both lost this week, so it came down to the points. They wound up separated by only 28.5 points over the season, and are the only two who failed to eclipse 1200 fantasy points on the year.

Playoff Preview

Hooper’s Heroes will face off against Grim Reaper, while The Jeff Fisher Effect will face off against Pedro Pickles. I’d like to point out that the top seed is 1-2 all-time in the semifinals. Heroes has that Big Ben/AB stack I can’t shut up about, but that’s because they have basically carried him the last few weeks. That stack faces off against the Patriots this week, so I don’t really know what that means. The Effect is going to hope that last week’s Kareem Hunt re-breakout wasn’t a fluke, and hope he can ride that to a championship. Honestly, it really seems there is no clear cut favorite this year. Any of these teams has a chance to win.

Loser Bowl Preview

I’d like to propose the following: Since The Worst has already been crowned, the loser of the Loser Bowl becomes the owner on the hook to provide the extra $5 in scratch tickets to the winner of the Loser Bowl. It keeps our Loser Bowl incentivized, since Crobi already knows he’ll be wearing the T-shirt again.

Eligible to win those extra tickets are Scrote, Zeddemore, Luckless and Provost (the 5-8 seeds). Scrote and Zeddemore won’t have to provide the extras (because of the way our Loser Bowl bracket is set up) but they will certainly want to win them. I’m gonna say Provost is the “favorite” here for two reasons: 1) he’s got the most points of the group by far, and 2) he’s got Zeke coming back in Week 16 (granted, he has to win in Week 15 against a guy who just put up his biggest week of the season for that to matter).

Money Winner

Hooper’s Heroes topped the league scoring this week, his fourth time this season.

The Playoffs start on Thursday night, and continue on Saturday, Sunday and Monday. (Well done, NFL). Good luck to you all!

Except Pete.

Week 13, or Clinching and Worst-ing

With their wins this week, Pickles, The Heroes and The Effect clinched playoff spots. And the race for the last spot exists, but how many teams have a realistic shot? Read on, dear friends!

Pedro Pickles (113) vs. Grim Reaper (112.5)

Another week, a THIRD (yes, THIRD) half-point loss for The Reaper. I mean, if Lev Bell’s Monday night TD is a rushing one instead, we’re not having this conversation. Really bad break for Reaper. The victory means Pickles has officially clinched a playoff spot. We’ll talk about the overall playoff picture later.

Released Dix On Boobies (89) vs. Iron Ryan (74.5)

This loss officially eliminates Iron Ryan from playoff contention (it was a long shot anyway). The loss sets up an interesting 3-way tie for the worst record in the league right now. I’ll talk about that later, too.

Team Provost (106.5) vs. Outta Luck (69.5)

This loss means Outta Luck is basically just that for a playoff spot, his valiant attempt at respectability hampered by underperforming players and waiver wire dreck. There's a shot, but an outside one. Like, "in the parking lot" outside.

The Jeff Fisher Effect (151) vs. Scrote Squad (75.5)

Well, after all the last 6 weeks of losing, The Effect busted out in a big way. In the interesting stat department, The Effect won both matchups against Scrote this season by a combined score of 297.5-132: the Effect’s two highest scores of the year came against Scrote. Scrote is still in the driver's seat for a playoff berth, however (read more later).

Hooper’s Heroes (122) vs. Jameis Winston Zeddemore (90.5)

The Heroes dominating win clinched him a playoff spot, and dealt a blow to Zeddemore’s chances. Big blow. Almost hurricane force.

The Playoff Picture

We know who our top 3 seeds are: Pickles, The Heroes and The Effect. They won’t necessarily be in that order; they really could be in any order, and it’s very unlikely that one of these teams becomes the #4 seeds. There’s a possibility the The Heroes and The Effect, who face off in Week 14, do so again in the first week of the playoffs (which historically would be good for The Heroes, who owns a lifetime 6-1 record against The Effect, though The Effect won their first meeting this season).

If Pickles wins, he’s the 1, and The Heroes and The Effect fight it out for number 2. If Pickles loses, the 1 seed likely goes to the winner of Heroes/Effect, who would probably have more points, and would have the same record.

The really interesting matchup is for the 4 seed. Theoretically, four teams are within a game of that spot: Scrote (currently holding onto that 4 seed), Reaper, Zeddemore and Outta Luck. There are basically two realistic scenarios:

Scenario #1: Scrote beats Luckless this week: he’s in.

Scenario #2: Scrote loses to Luckless, and Reaper defeats Boobies (heh): Reaper probably gets in, having the same record, and probably more points for (currently, Reaper has a 34.5 point advantage).

Scenario #3: If Scrote loses and Reaper loses, the possibility exists for Zeddemore and Luckless to get in. Here’s the point totals:

Reaper: 1280.5

Scrote: 1246 (-34.5)

Zeddemore: 1158 (-112.5)

Outta Luck: 1126.5 (154)

So, basically, for Zeddemore or Luckless to get in (if both Reaper and Scrote lose), they need to win AND make up the point difference between them and Scrote (Reaper would be out by record). Zeddemore would need to outscore Scrote by 78 points. Luckless would need to make up 119.5 points (a point total that has been topped only 17 times, or 13% of the time, this year).

Who’s Gonna Be The Worst?

There are more teams in the running to be this year’s The Worst than there are to make the playoffs right now. Provost, Iron Ryan and Boobies (heh) are the obvious favorites, given they have the worst records. A loss for any (or all) of them would give them the worst record in the league, and The Worst would come down to points; Boobies (heh) has the fewest, 18 fewer than Iron Ryan. Provost has a major advantage here, having scored the 4th MOST points in the league, and would really only end up the Worst if he loses, and Iron and Boobies (heh) win. In theory, all of the 6-7 teams (Luckless, Zeddemore, Reaper) could also end up as The Worst. It could all come down to points. And a little bit of (bad) luck.

A total of 55 points separate Zeddemore, Luckless, Iron Ryan and Boobies (heh), the obvious “contenders.”

There are WAY too many scenarios to list, but suffice it to say, it’s possible to have our first repeat The Worst. It’s also possible to have our Champ who became The Worst.

Sunday will be interesting!