Week 7, or Commish gets suspended

 So I absolutely, for no good reason at all, left out two teams last week. So, I thought to myself: what would Roger Goodell do?

Nah, just kidding. The reality is that Goodell would invite his best owner friends, Jerry and Bobby, and eat some more paste. But I decided that I should be suspended for such an egregious error, which is why this week's Notes are late. 

No, that's not it either. I've been watching Squid Game (a couple weeks too late, I've been told).

Anyway....I present this week's Notes, with all 10 teams being represented.

Utah Falco topples Released Dix On Boobies, 146-90, takes over first place

Do you know who the #1 seed in the AFC is right now? It's the Cincinnati Bengals. That's kind of like Falco being in first place too (h/t Hardcore Sacks). But hey, his team is good. (He's technically tied with Hardcore Sacks on record, and has a 4-point edge on the season). It seems a lock that he'll make his first playoff appearance ever. He had THREE different players score exactly 24 points this week and is the first player to have multiple Tidwell Awards this week. Boobies (heh) by contrast had no players even break the 20 point mark. His team is struggling, having lost three of his last four games.

The Jeff Fisher Effect ramrods Hamilton Rod and Gun, 140.5-73.5

Thursday night and D'Ernest Johnson set the tone, and then the Titans blew out the Chiefs and Derrick Henry somehow DIDN'T have a huge game. But let's be honest, the real reason you're all reading this section is because of the defense. The Jets defense put up (as you probably guessed) the lowest score in league history. It might not be as low as you'd have thought though: we've had a few other managers play defenses that posted a minus-9 score. They are:

• Hardcore (Vikings D) in 2020
• JFE himself (Saints D) and Boobies (heh) (Vikings D) in 2018
• I-Ry in 2014, in the Championship Game (remember when Provost Magic was a thing?)

There are also a handful of -8 scores in league history. JFE's defense, the Giants, posted 17 points, meaning a 28 point difference in the defenses in this matchup. It was NOT the largest difference in defenses, however. Just last year, Sycamore played the Ravens (25 points) and Pickles played the 49ers (-4 points) for a 29-point difference.

Team Provost goes big, wallops Bishop Sycamore Centurions, 140-102

Three TDs from Mike Evans, and Ja'Marr Chase's 201 yards receiving, along with Matthew Stafford's revenge game were too much for BSC. Sycamore's issue over the last three weeks (during which he has not recorded a win) has been his RBs. He started Devontae Booker and Chase Edmonds this week. Oh, and Hunter Renfrow. Some of the issue was the Bye-mageddon we just went through: the other part is injuries. He's kind of in trouble right now.

Pedro Pickles pops Death Valley Driver, 125.5-86

Pickles has been aggressive on the Waiver Wire the last two weeks (including this one) and it's paid off for him. The Khalil Herbert pick-up has paid off in spades, and Terry McLaurin had a big week this week. DVD just didn't have it this week. After breaking the century mark each of the previous three weeks, he couldn't get to 90 this week. His biggest issue? Josh Allen on bye, and Sam Darnold sucking so bad he got benched for P.J. Walker, who I'm sure isn't real and is a Madden create-a-player.

Hardcore Sacks sacks Iron Ryan, 123.5-70

Bye-mageddon hit these two clubs hard. The bloom came off the Chuba Hubbard rose, but Hardcore still has Matt Stafford's binkie in Cooper Kupp and Damien Harris, who plays for Bill "I don't give a rat's behind if I hurt the Jets feelings" Belichick. I-Ry? Well, he played two RBs from the SAME backfield.

It didn't.