Week 3, or a middling week after two big ones

Hardcore Sacks 2.0 (148, 3-0) vs. Scrote Squad (103.5, 0-3)

The week Scrote Squad attempts to make your Commish look silly after calling his team not good, he breaks 100 for the first time and would have beaten more than half of the league’s teams. Unfortunately, he went up against the week’s highest scorer in Hardcore. Scrote stacked Deshaun Watson and Will Fuller to the tune of 41.5 combined points, and Run CMC scored another 21 points this week, but it just wasn’t enough to compete with the highest score in the league so far. I mean, how do you compete with a Drew Brees who has both 1) an extra quarter to rack up stats and 2) gets two rushing TDs (including the game winner)? The answer: you probably can’t.

Death Valley Driver (117.5, 2-1) vs. Iron Ryan (85.5, 0-3)

Iron Ryan, man….he’s gotta change his name to Brittle Ryan. His guys just can’t seem to stay healthy. Two injured guys on his bench (Baldwin, Fournette), one “injured” guy on his bench (Josh Gordon), and then an injury in the first quarter to Evan Engram and….damn. Also doesn’t help that Tom Brady has looked damn near mortal this year. (See the “Somewhat Random Thought” below.) Driver, meanwhile, has very few injuries, and a bench stacked with talent: literally every guy on his bench scored double digit points this week. Ryan Fitzmagic tried like hell to become Fitztragic Monday night, but dug himself out of that hole. But it didn’t matter against the Not-Goodness (and bad luck) of Brittle Ryan.

Panic Time Squad (111, 2-1) vs. Released Dix On Boobies (68, 1-2)

Tale of Two Teams: Panic Time thought his season was over when his team underperformed in Week 1. Boobies (heh) thought they were sitting pretty after dropping 143.5 points in Week 1. Now the situation has reversed. For Boobies (heh), it starts with the Brady/Gronk Connection that hasn’t been there for the last two weeks, and an injury to Jay Ajayi. Plus, he’s still got DJ Chark on his bench and his -0.5 fantasy points on the season. For PTSD, the injury to Devonta Freeman seems to not have mattered, and neither has the basic ineffectiveness of Kenyan Drake. He had a solid day all around.

Pedro Pickles (95.5, 1-2) vs. Team Provost (93.5, 1-2)

Now we get to the games that were most directly affected by the Monday Night Shootout. Pickles trailed going into the matchup, but then Fitzmagic pulled out his magic wand, and expelliarmus-ed the Steelers awful secondary, Mike Evans had a big night, and gave Pickles the two-point victory. Provost got a total of 11 points from his WR slots, which certainly didn’t help. And speaking of guys on one’s bench that should have been dropped long ago: Cordarrelle Patterson and his 5.5 fantasy points.

Dancin’ Dennis Nedry (99.5, 3-0) vs. The Jeff Fisher Effect (98.5, 2-1)

Talk about a way to ruin your night: wake up with your 1-month old son, check your fantasy score to learn you’ve lost by 1 point because of bad JuJu. Or good JuJu from the point of view of Dancin’ Dennis. Each team had a reasonably solid day, and could have made a change or two to boost their score but…. Sometimes it just works out this way. DDN is sitting pretty at 3-0 with good starters, a decent bench and squeezed out a win with a bad day from his wideouts. JFE is 2-1, and starting to hit the panic button a little bit with Joe Mixon out.

Show Him The Money!

Hardcore Sacks 2.0 is this week’s Tidwell Award winner. It’s Tim’s second ever Tidwell Award.

Shoulda Started That Guy

Death Valley Driver’s BENCH scored 102.5 points this week. That would have beaten 6 teams this week. Maybe he shouldn’t have started those guys (I mean, he won anyway), but his team be deep, yo. (I know I have the ability to remove that ridiculous sentence, but I’m gonna leave it in.)

Somewhat random thought

You guys remember years ago (not sure you’re all Red Sox fans?) when the world was convinced that David Ortiz was washed up when he started slow for the first couple months, and then he became David Ortiz again? I’m wondering if that’s happening to Tom Brady. Boston Media thinking the guy is done, and then toward the end of the season, he’s the guy we’ve always known. Or maybe, Alex Guerrero is full of shit and the TB12 Method is a total crock.