Week 11, or The One Released on Thanksgiving Day

It's Thanksgiving. So ready your breakfast and eat hearty...for this is the longest Notes of the year. I think. (unnecessary but fun Gerard Butler GIF)

Dancin’ Dennis Nedry (7-4) goes large, crashes Death Valley Driver (7-4), 127.5-113

Damn Dennis! Tyreek Hill might be the fastest human in the history of the world ever. He was dominant in that Monday Night Track Meet, even when Todd Gurley wasn’t. Both guys left points on the table this week: DDN sat Andrew Luck in favor of Ryan Fitzpatrick (a mistake he won’t make again because FitzTragic is benched again) and DVD sat T.Y. Hilton and his 33.5 points. Both at 7-4, they both seem set up well for a playoff run.

Pedro Pickles (5-6) continues run, tops Iron Ryan (5-6), 112-85

Iron Ryan came crashing back to Earth, even though Leonard Fournette decided to join the Jaguars, and Julio Jones has decided he’s no longer allergic to the end zone. But it’s hard to win when you only score 85 points, no matter who you’re playing. Pickles squeaked by even though he started Austin Ekeler and Derrick Henry, even though neither of the NFL teams that employs those players started them. Patrick Mahomes was the big eraser in this one; five turnovers in the game and he still managed 36 points.

Scrote Squad (3-8) dominates Panic Time Squad (6-5), 133.5-84.5

It’s sort of a mystery how Scrote is 3-8, given the talent on his roster. We all teased him (OK, at least a couple of us) for drafting Robert Woods where he did (4^th round) but he’s been a top 10 WR, and Christian McCaffrey has been good as well. He deserves better than to be 3-7 (but the same could be said of a few teams in the league). Panic Time might actually want to panic now. His RBs just give him nothing. He’s made it this far without, but he’s going to run into trouble in the next three weeks.

Hardcore Sacks 2.0 (9-2) stays on top, pops Team Provost (3-8)

Well, it wasn’t the same record-setting week for Hardcore, but it was just as convincing. Even a shitty week from John Brown and a donut week from Eric Ebron didn’t matter; when you have the only two weapons Aaron Rodgers seems to trust (Aaron Jones and Davante Adams), you’re in a good spot. Also, Drew Brees is just out of his mind right now. Provost managed over 100 points for the second week in a row, it just wasn’t enough, despite Saquon and Zeke doing everything they’re supposed to do. He just didn’t (and doesn’t) have any firepower at wide receiver.

The Jeff Fisher Effect (5-6) tops Released Dix On Boobies (5-6), 115-83

It was a solid day all around for Fisher Effect, who only lacked a double-digit scorer at TE and D/ST. Phillip Lindsay led the way for him, but he got the usual from Melvin Gordon and Michael Thomas. His struggle has been (and probably will continue to be) at QB. Boobies (heh) will basically go as far as Kareem Hunt and James Conner will carry him. Conner had a tough matchup with the Jags D and only managed 7 points. His WRs just aren’t very good.

The Push for the Playoffs

We have 4 teams who currently sit at 5-6 and are holding onto hope for that final playoff spot: Fisher Effect currently has the “lead” among the group based on points scored, followed by Pickles, Boobies (heh), and Iron Ryan (see the totals a bit further down). Here’s the quick breakdown of their remaining schedule (the parentheses is all-time record vs. that opponent).

	Week 12	Week 13	Week 14
Fisher Effect	vs. Iron Ryan (6-3)	vs. Panic  (1-7)	vs. Hardcore (3-3)
Pickles	vs. Scrote  (4-4)	vs. DDN (1-2)	vs. Kyle (2-1)
Boobies (heh)	vs. DDN (3-4)	vs. DVD (2-4)	vs. Provost (2-4)
Iron Ryan	vs. JFE (3-6)	vs. Hardcore (1-5)	vs. Panic (4-2)

A win this week is important for each of these guys, though only three of them could possibly have a win, since Fisher and Iron Ryan face-off. That’s really a must-win for both to maintain a chance. Boobies (heh) faces a “short-handed” Dancin’ Dennis this week (Gurley and Hill are on bye), and Pickles faces a Scrote Squad that honestly could be in this same 5-6 group with some better breaks; he’s scored more points than Boobies (heh) and Iron Ryan.

Speaking of points, here's how those 4 teams break down in terms of overall points:

Fisher Effect - 1223.5

Pickles - 1181.5 (-42)

Boobies (heh) - 1134 (-89.5)

Iron Ryan - 1037.5 (-186)

Iron Ryan basically need to win out and finish with a better record than all the others because it's unlikely he makes up even the 96.5 points between him and Boobies (heh). Fisher Effect's 42 point lead here is strong, but could be wiped out with one bad week at the wrong time; Pickles has the fire power to pull that off.

It should be pointed out that if the season ended today, none of these teams I've spent so much time talking about would be in the playoffs. Panic Time Squad is currently clinging to the 4-seed, much like this adorable kitty is clinging to this bed.

Panic Time faces Team Provost this week, before finishing out with JFE and Iron Ryan. That Week 13 matchup with Fisher Effect could be HUGE. His best chance would be to win out, so he won't have to worry about a points tiebreaker. 

The top 3 seeds currently belong to Hardcore, Dancin’ Dennis and DVD. If my math is correct, Hardcore has locked up a playoff spot at 9-2 and could match the best regular season record in league history (Pete went 12-2 in 2016). DDN and DVD are in great position for playoff spots; given their points scored, they’d have a tiebreaker over anyone who finishes with the same record right now. If they aren't locked in like Hardcore, they certainly have the best shot.

Another Week, Another Tidwell

Yeah yeah yeah, Hardcore won another Tidwell, his third consecutive. Ho hum.

Giving of Thanks

As I think I’ve probably done every year, I want to give thanks for you guys, the Smarter Than Phil Simms Fantasy Football League. I enjoy commissioning this league, and you guys make it easy and fun to be the commissioner. I’ve seen horror stories of leagues with shitty owners who make bad trades, break rules and guys who do their drafts from a boat (oh wait, that’s this league). The fantasy community is riddled with people who complain “Not in my league!” Well in this case, that’s a good thing. Bad, detached owners who don’t care about their team or the league? “Not in my league.”

Remember there are 3 games today (Thanksgiving) so set your lineups accordingly.

Last thing: when you guys read the notes and say to your self "Man, Nate does a really good job finding funny GIFs!" are you saying "GIF" with a soft G sound (like Jif, the peanut butter) or with the hard G sound (like God)?

Commish OUT!