Week 10, or The Muddy Middle Continues

Week 10 in Smarter Than Phil Simms meant...uh, football? I guess? The standings didn’t change a lot. Some teams got further away from the playoffs, while others improved their chances. But it's still a messy middle of the pack. And we had one all-time great week.

RECAPS!

Panic Time Squad (6-4) rides Beckham’s MNF performance to 125-113.5 victory over Dancin’ Dennis Nedry (6-4)

Panic Time can probably stop panicking now, thanks to two TDs from Odell Beckham on Monday night. Or maybe not. I mean, both his RBs combined to score 11 points. He’s gotten next to nothing from his RBs all year, and is still sitting in prime playoff position (more on that later). DDN just didn’t have the fire power this week, and lost Cooper Kupp to a torn ACL. He had several players on bye, and sat Andrew Luck for Ryan Fitzpatrick too, which didn’t help.

Pedro Pickles (4-6) motorboats Released Dix On Boobies (5-5), 100-81

I’m gonna be honest; while watching the Bills continue to put up points on Sunday, the ONLY thing about this matchup I was looking forward to was how few points the Jets D was going to score. Turns out they scored minus-7, or minus-1 point for every dollar of FAAB Pickles spent on them. But it didn’t matter, because Shady McCoy (24.5 points) torched that very same defense. It also didn’t matter because Boobies (heh) reverted to early season form and just didn’t have enough points available to him.

Hardcore Sacks 2.0 (8-2) smokes Scrote Squad (2-8), 187.5-123

David Johnson, Nick Chubb and Eric Ebron each had (at least) a rushing TD and a receiving TD, leading Hardcore to a new all-time league high score. Best part? He had big days from two guys on his bench and could have topped 200 points without much trouble with a few different plays. (not that anyone in their right mind is going to start Mitch Trubisky over Drew Brees. Ever.) Scrote got off to a good start with Christian McCaffrey’s Thursday night TD triad, but when the other team has THREE guys score THREE TDs? As they say in Italy…

The Jeff Fisher Effect (4-6) lucks out, tops Team Provost (3-7), 106-104

Trailing by 2.5 going into the Monday Night game, JFE needed George Kittle and the 49ers D to outscore Saquon. Thanks to Eli and Odell’s two TDs, Saquon didn’t go nuts, and Kittle and the Niners pulled it out for JFE. Andy Dalton did his best to torpedo his team (you know, like Andy Dalton does) in what could have been a shootout game against the Saints. Provost had a much more balanced attack than JFE, but it wasn’t quite enough.

Death Valley Driver (7-3) tops Iron Ryan (5-5), 97.5-86.5

Leonard Fournette returned from injury  and put up a big week for I.R., but it wasn’t enough. He put up another low score, but couldn’t win this week. Certainly didn’t help him that Tom Brady sucked this week. DVD continues to play down to his competition, but he picked up a win this week.

Updated standings

With 4 weeks to go in the regular season, things are starting to get intense. Hardcore maintains his grip on the #1 seed, and virtually nothing else changes in the playoff picture.

1. Hardcore Sacks
2. Death Valley Driver
3. Dancin’ Dennis Nedry
4. Panic Time Squad

The changes happen closer to that 4th spot, though the teams vying hardest for that spot were dealt a blow by DVD and PTSd winning. Boobies (heh) and Iron Ryan are 5-5 now, and Fisher Effect and Pedro Pickles are 4-6.

And wouldn’t you know: Fisher plays Boobies (heh) this week, and Iron Ryan faces off against Pickles. There’s a potential to see some separation in this middle pack. Or it might get worse.

With their respective losses, Provost drops to 3-7 and Scrote Squad to 2-8. Scrote probably doesn’t deserve to be 2-8, but I’m not sure how much better his record should be (his score this week would have beaten any other winner in the league but Panic). While these two haven’t been mathematically eliminated, they certainly have a tough road ahead to make the playoffs.

I’ll start really getting into playoff possibilities after next week.

Tidwell Award

Hardcore set a new league record for highest scoring week. You think someone else won the Tidwell? Show Tim the money for the second week in a row.

Rumble rumble

Chris, Tim, Ryan, Kyle and I had a good time at the Rumble Seat on Sunday. Sorry you other guys had to miss it, but I understand you each either had a really good reason or some other prior commitment. Or live in Colorado.

I’m glad we did it, and can’t wait to see everyone’s shining faces for our year-end banquet, probably at the Rumble Seat again. If you’ve got another idea for a location, please bring it up with the Commish.

On to Week 11!